Bhutatma : About six of us were walking in Cheviot Hills around the time that Bali Mardan was involved with a Japanese woman who we thought was the heir to the Toyota fortune. Toward the end of the walk, Karandhar, Bali Mardan and I lagged behind because I was asking Bali Mardan if he could loan money to the San Francisco temple to buy property where householders could live. While we were having this private discussion, Prabhupada was walking ahead, and the three of us were still talking when Prabhupada and the other devotees were almost to the car. Then Prabhupada stopped, turned around and looked at us with a displeased expression. Prabhupada’s expressions could be very complex, but I felt that he was saying, “There you are playing with broken glass. You think that you’re making some plan to expand the movement, and here is Krishna’s pure devotee and you’ve separated yourself and are in a mental state.” When it turned out that there wasn’t any money, it exacerbated the foolishness of our conversation. I clearly remember Prabhupada’s look and howl thought, “Jimmy Christmas, what am I thinking? We could talk about this any time. I’m back here, missing precious moments with Prabhupada because I’m letting my little sense of self- importance run away from me.“
Reference: Memories Anecdotes of a Modern Day Saint – Volume 3 by Siddhanta Dasa
