Otherwise I am very bad
Hridayananda Goswami: Late 1972, when ISKCON Press was in Brooklyn, Prabhupada came there. After he’d been there a few days, the artists showed Prabhupada their new paintings for Prabhupada to approve or make suggestions or request corrections or whatever. Prabhupada looked at all the paintings, and suddenly he felt something very deep within himself and he asked for us to play his own bhajan tape of “Jiv Jago.” We brought in the tape player, he sat listening, and he was, in Vedic language, in samadhi. He closed his eyes and he was with Krishna in the spiritual world. It was so powerful that there was silence in the room. No one could say anything, no one could move and he didn’t open his eyes until the tape was over. Then Jadurani said that she had one more painting to show Prabhupada, and she brought the painting in. Prabhupada was still in this very deep internal mood. He looked at the painting and said, “It is very good.” Then he said, “Actually all of you are very good.” At this point, he became very humble and was speaking very seriously. In other words, at that point, due to his love for Krishna, he could no longer pretend to be the madhyama-adhikari who was preaching. He was exhibiting his real position as a paramahamsa. He looked at all of us and very seriously and humbly said, “Actually all of you are very good. And in your association, even I am good. Otherwise I am very bad.” Everyone was shocked and no one could say anything or hardly breathe. Then gradually one by one we offered our obeisances and left the room.
Source: Remembrances by Sidhanta Das – Folio Vedabase
