Udayananda: I got my brahmin initiation from Srila Prabhupada in 1974 in Chicago. At that time they had fixed Prabhupada’s room up inside the bramachari ashram that was quite large. Prabhupada would call each of us in individually, and he would give us the gayatri mantra. This was the first time I actually associated with Srila Prabhupada personally, even though I had been distributing his books for almost two years. I had been telling everyone, “You should follow these books because this person his special.” Now I was actually meeting that person which was an incredible moment for me.
When I came into his room there were two bowls of Frankincense that were billowing smoke along the bottom of Prabhupada’s vyasasana. It appeared as though Prabhupada was sitting on a cloud. I offered my obeisances and when I looked up, Prabhupada was looking right into me as our eyes connected. It was like looking into infinity and I never had anything like that happen before or after. It was as if he was looking into my very soul and knew all the nonsense that I was, all my degradations, all my hang-ups and attachments. It was like I was an open book and he was reading me. I couldn’t hold the gaze so I had to look down. But the amazing thing was that his gaze didn’t translate that, “Oh you are filthy”, even though I am, or “You’re degraded, or you’re a mleccha”, even though all of the above, true, true, true, check, check, check. But he was looking at me with a look of infinite compassion. It was a look of love and compassion for my condition here in this material world. It was a look that said, “I can take you out of this material world.” At that moment I thought, “This personality can actually save me.”
I was still on my knees and Prabhupada said, “Come close.” I scooted up on my knees and Prabhupada said, “Give me your right hand.” He took my hand and he put my thumb on the middle digit of my ring finger. He said, “So you chant these mantras on each digit of your hand.” Then he took my thumb and he moved it from digit to digit. Now I had not actually watched any of my brahmin God-brothers chant gayatri mantras, so I didn’t have a clue what he was doing with my fingers. But he was moving them around, and of course just being touched by the pure devotee was an astounding thing in itself. So he started the mantra, “Om bhur bhuva svah, etc., and I repeated it and then at the end of it Srila Prabhupada said, “So you’re chanting sixteen rounds?” I said, “Yes, Srila Prabhupada,” Then he said, “Are you preaching Krishna consciousness?” I said, “Yes, Srila Prabhupada. I’m the sankirtan leader in Detroit.” Then Prabhupada lifted his right forefinger and said, “Always preach Krishna consciousness.” That was his instruction to me. I said, “Yes, Srila Prabhupada.” Prabhupada shook his head in a typical Indian fashion, as if to say, “Alright.”
At that moment I thought, “How many millions of births has it taken for me to actually come into the association of an uttama adhikari, maha bhagavata, a nitya siddha from Goloka Vrindavan itself? And now I’m right in front of him. So what do I?” I thought I should ask something very pertinent, something very relevant and very deep. Since all of his books pretty much answered all my questions, I said, “Srila Prabhupada, can I touch your lotus feet?” As soon as the words got out of my mouth I turned three shades of red. I thought to myself, “Did I really just say that?” Prabhupada looked at me and said, “That is not necessary.” I said, “Jai, Srila Prabhupada.”
When I went outside my God-brothers Sura and Vaisesika asked, “What did Srila Prabhupada say? What did you say?” I said, “Well, I said, ‘Can I touch your lotus feet?’” They couldn’t believe it. But at that time we had just started guru puja that emphasizes “The lotus feet of the pure devotee are the only way we can attain pure devotional service. We bow down to his lotus feet with great awe and reverence. By his grace we can cross this ocean of material suffering and attain the mercy of Krishna.” Also from the Caitanya-caritamrita, the two verses that Lord Chaitanya quotes, it says, “Oh, King Rahugana, without taking upon one’s head the dust from the lotus feet of a pure devotee, one cannot attain devotional service. Devotional service is not possible to attain simply by undergoing austerities and penances, by gorgeously worshipping the deity or by strictly following the rules and regulations. One can only get devotional service by taking the dust from the lotus feet of the pure devotee.” And then it says, “Unless human society accepts the dust of the lotus feet of great mahatmas, devotees who have nothing to do with material possessions, mankind cannot turn its attention to the lotus feet of Krishna. Those lotus feet vanquish all the unwanted miserable conditions of material life.” So there was a method to my madness.
