“Without preaching,” said Prabhupada, “ISKCON will become rubbish

One morning in Bombay, while I was sitting chanting silent japa in Prabhupada’s back room and Srila Prabhupada was reading one of his books in the front room, his disciple Pancadravida Swami came to visit him. Pancadravida Maharaja had been preaching in South India, and after visiting Prabhupada for a few days, he was about to set off again on another tour to the South. Prabhupada gave him encouraging words and blessings. He told him that the mission of the Krishna conscious movement is to turn a section of the population into ideal men. Prabhupada said we cannot expect everyone to join. “If by this way or that way,” said Prabhupada, “you can bring one person to Krishna, He is very pleased to have one of His sons returned.” Pancadravida Maharaja asked how he could prepare himself to preach against South Indian panditas who knew the sastras thoroughly. Prabhupada replied that if he could just memorize thirty of the key verses of Bhagavad-gita, he would be able to defeat Mayavadi arguments. Prabhupada also emphasized that Pancadravida Maharaja should preach on the basis of the varnasrama-dharma, explaining that in order for society to be sane it should be organized according to four orders and classes. Hearing Srila Prabhupada give his sannyasi disciple impetus to go and preach, I again felt the desire to leave my secretarial duties and go preaching in the U.S. colleges. I recalled how I had been doing that service formerly, and I vowed that if given another chance I would try harder. But then I checked myself. Why should I be thinking of any other service except that assigned to me? After Pancadravida Maharaja left, I went back to chanting Hare Krishna and praying to Krishna to treat me as he liked for my betterment. To insist on a certain situation in devotional service would be sense gratification, not bhakti. Since these deliberations were on my mind, I often found relevant passages in my reading that brought the issue into focus. In the mornings, for example, Prabhupada had asked different devotees to read out loud from the Krishna book while he walked, and one of the passages stood out in my mind. We had been reading about Krishna stealing the clothes of the unmarried gopi girls, and Srila Prabhupada had commented that they would do whatever Krishna asked. “That is love,” said Srila Prabhupada. “You can do whatever you want and still I love you. That is how Lord Caitanya prayed. Otherwise, it becomes a business exchange.” I particularly took note of passages praising unalloyed surrender to the guru. Often I engaged in dialogues with myself, sometimes speaking in favor of the desire to go and preach and sometimes admonishing myself for considering anything except the duties of personal servant. But to speak back and forth to myself was not conclusive. Since I could not forget the idea of doing another service, I realized that sooner or later I would have to bring my doubts before Srila Prabhupada. At this time Tamala Krishna Goswami came to Prabhupada and asked permission to leave his assignment as G.B.C. for India (which he had been executing for four years) to go traveling and preaching in America. His friend Vishnujana Swami had been staying with him in Bombay and had told him how great the preaching was in America. Vishnujana suggested they go traveling together in a bus, holding festivals, distributing books, and recruiting devotees. Prabhupada seemed reluctant at first, but then agreed and gave permission. He even said, “Yes, we can always pay a manager, but preaching is a matter of realization.” Seeing Tamala Krishna get permission impelled my own thinking in that direction. On several occasions I was present when Tamala Krishna spoke to Prabhupada about the plans to preach in America. “Without preaching,” said Prabhupada, “ISKCON will become rubbish. The management will be at our fingers-end if the devotees simply follow the rules, chanting, and taking prasadam. Preaching is first. Yes, it is good if the presidents and G.B.C.’s switch around sometimes” Another time I was present with Tamala Krishna when Prabhupada talked about how he left his home and went preaching. “I was always thinking,” said Prabhupada, “how I could benefit everyone. As the Bhagavad-gita says, sarva-bhutanam. Unless one has come to this realization, how can he be a representative of God? I never had any national or humanitarian concerns, but concern for all living entities. Even at home as a householder I was preaching and people were coming. But my family members were upstairs taking tea. I was very angry with them. I told my wife, ?You either give up tea, or lose your husband.’ She thought that I was joking. But I was determined and took sannyasa. The family took it as a great shock. But now I am fully satisfied.” “It is our good fortune,” said Tamala Krishna, “that you had this disagreement with your wife and that she chose tea instead of you. Because now we are all saved.” Prabhupada appeared like he was going to say more about his family, but then he said, “I do not care to talk about them anymore.” “Go and preach and remain active,” Prabhupada told us, “and when you are old enough you can go and sit down in Mayapur and simply chant Hare Krishna.” “But Srila Prabhupada,” said Tamala Krishna, “What does ?old enough’ mean?” Prabhupada said, “That has to be judged by the individual. As for myself, I am not so old.” “Then we also, Srila Prabhupada,” I said, “will follow your example and never say we are old enough to stop preaching.”